Party Time

The month of September was a very social one in the Papaya household! We went to two BBQs at friends houses, and hosted a going away party for a Captain who is PCSing. The one we hosted was the most interesting because it involved Rumpelmintz and puking.

I maybe should have taken the problems I had in the lead up to this shindig as I sign for bigger things to come. All I wanted to do was mow the grass. First, I got one of the small front wheels caught along the sidewalk so the rubber just came right off the rim. This was evening time the day before the party, and I already knew I wasn't going to get the whole yard mowed before dark. I just wanted the front and half the back done. So the wheel is off the rim. We get that off the mower, and use the air compressor to try and get it full again, but it was a tubless tire, so you had to make sure the rubber veil or apron or whatever was seated against the rim. We couldn't get it to seat, to I took it the the tire place down the street with 10 minutes before closing. They got it full, but it turned out the valve stem was broken. Awesome!. But I got it back on the mower right quick, and was able to get a couple rows before it was totally flat and falling off the rim again. That front tire doesn't take a whole lot of weight, so you can go pretty good with it flat. But the yard has hills and you end up needing that corner to be supported. So the tire's flat, I decided to call it a day. I got up early the next day and started the thing up (sorry neighbors) and got about 10 feet before the GODDAMNED DECK BELT BROKE AND THEN I COULDN'T MOW AT ALL!!!!!!!!

Our BBQ was put on as a potluck, because it was decided at a BBQ one week prior to the event that it should happen at all. So, potluck is good because it gave me a chance to not worry about food at all. I ended up doing a chocolate cream pie, some roasted zucchini/squash, and some home made guacamole that turned out horrible because the avacados were not good. Ripe, but not good. The thing I'm most proud of, though, was being able to whip up a goop to put on some chicken breasts that came naked. I googled up chicken marinades to see what type of things go into one, and the first recipe had dry mustard, oregano, pepper, brown sugar, etc. in it. Well, I don't have dry mustard, but I have Heinz, so I squirted some of that in a bowl, sprinkled in some pepper, salt, oregano, and brown sugar (I think, I can't remember), and let the designated barbecuer taste. He was genuinely surprised that I could come up with something that didn't taste like ass. I was not offended, I thought it was funny!

Let me just say that if you have any friends from Guam, have them bring and barbecue up the ribs (beef or pork, both super tasty). The pork ribs were so good and sweet like bacon and I wish I had more leftovers in the fridge.

So once the food was done, it was time to move on the booze. The keg was flowing the whole time (only used half-2/3 of a pony!) and Rumpelmintz was brought by one family that I may have to disown. Apparently that shit sneaks up on you to the point where you can be on round 4 or 5 and be feeling fine, but then the next second be in a horizontal position. Not because you've passed out, but because you feel the need to be steadied by the ground. The guy in question, our barbecuer, had been working on beers all day while grilling. The when that job was done and he could relax, he moved on the 100 proof candycanes of death. After 4 rounds he was standing up on the deck talking to us all, and we literally could see the "oh I don't feel so good" look cross his face. That was when he laid down on the plastic bench. (Which I still have in my yard, freaking two weeks after the party, and haven't returned to our friends yet.)

So he's laying down, by this point it's time for a second round of food, so people start eating again, and then people are leaving. And he's still laying down. Then it's just our core friends relaxing inside (it got coooold!!). And I get a request for the plunger. Because when you're sitting in the bathroom cradling your head, of course you're sitting on the toilet for a chair and then when you have to puke the sink is right there. So we needed to unclog the sink. That was taken care of, and he was either locked in the bathroom or sitting at one of our desks which are 5 feet from the bathroom.

Meanwhile, one of our friends who had had a puking incident at our 4th of July party
back in 2008 was relieved for there to finally be another story to come out of the Papaya household that wasn't him puking in the driveway and me hosing it down while he's still puking. Seriously, one of the guys was still talking about that 364 days after the fact. Guy giving up his crown says "I at least owe the man dinner!"

And then the evening wrapped up with the new puke king half passed out in one of our office chairs, and all of us (his wife too!) taking pictures of him and writing on his head. We were back to chatting in the other room when he all of a sudden got up and walked out the door to the car. "Time to go, I guess" is what we all said. So we hastily packed them up some food and they got going. They had church the next day, and his head said "fucking A" on it. These are the kinds of friends I have.

And we have about 30 hotdogs and a big box of burgers that weren't even opened, with buns to go with them. It's two weeks later, and I'm am still eating hotdogs.


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