Friday, January 30, 2009

Ice is bad

So our brand new driveway is a solid sheet of ice. When you shovel snow, you leave just a thin little layer of ice (liquid water, in this case) to refreeze and get real slick. The big storm that came through a couple of days ago did exactly what everyone said: snow all night, warm air coming in would turn the snow to freezing rain and then rain, then get below freezing again. This made the road thick with ice. And now however many days later, the driveway still isn't melted. In fact, yesterday pulling in with the Jeep, I hopped over the embankment made by the snowplow, and aimed for the dry patch left by the Jeep. The dry batch was somewhat smaller, meaning some of the ice had melted and creeped down into the dry part. Anyway, I put the Jeep farther up the driveway, going as far as I could before the wheels were spinning, and then with the brakes on, slid down back to the dry spot! So that told me the driveway was just a bit slick. (There is hardly any incline at all, but apparently enough for the car to slide.) So that I wouldn't die on the way to the car next time, I took kitty litter OUT OF THE LITTER BOX and made a little trail from the door, down the path to the driveway, and then to the passenger and driver sides of the Jeep. Yeah fine, I should be putting salt on it. But I don't want the concrete to get ruined.


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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Maya fall down go boom

I slipped and fell in the driveway today. I feel so old and feeble! One down spout drips right onto the driveway, now that the new setup extends the driveway all the way to the side where this downspout is. With it hardly getting above freezing in the day, I have to watch out for this icepatch that I've never had to worry about before. So, I didn't see it because there was some snow on it, and down I went. I've apparently learned how to fall slowly, because I'm not hurt. Thankfully it was good snow, so even though it packed onto my butt and side I fell on, it just brushed right off!


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Sunday, January 25, 2009

Funny thing said in Knoxville

I think it was during a meal, we were talking with Idiot Friend and his very nice wife about how there aren't a lot of Mexican places in our part of Maryland (they lived here for a year, so they know). So they say "Oh hey, there's a Mexican place down the street, it's supposed to be excellent." Hubby's and my eyes light up at the prospect of having Mexican. "Yeah, I think it's called Chu Gwa-something." "Uh, you mean Che Guevara, mass murderer and all around tool?" "Yeah, that sounds right." Hubby and I both at the same time say "There's no Mexican food good enough to make us patronize a place named after that type of person." And does any one else think it's kinda funny to name a Mexican place (even if they serve more Latin-style food) after a guy who was neither Mexican nor Latino?

A couple of days after we got back, Hubby confirmed with Idiot Friend that yes, that is indeed it's name. Contact info and interesting bit below the fold...

Best Mexican Food - Che Guevara
8025-A Kingston Pike Knoxville, TN 37919
(865)690-5250
Formerly La Paz, Che Guevara sits unmarked in the corner of a Toys ‘R Us shopping center but from the size of the crowd, needs no advertising. It’s known as one of the best Mexican restaurants in Knoxville with more Latin American dishes than run-of-the-mill Mexican plates. Located in the corner of the Barnes and Noble shopping center near West Town Mall.


I find it perfectly awesome that the store doesn't have a freaking sign up. Because if anyone were to, you know, find out about it, there may be some problems. Like boycotts hopefully.

[EDIT] apparently it's spelled "chez" not che (from the Esteemed Perfessor). This restaurant guide (sneakysunday.com) was the first one I found it on. If you google Knoxville with the properly spelled restaurant, then you find it.

Like I said before, Knoxville apparently has a well-established hippie population.
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Mortgagey goodness

We visited Bank of You and Me (shall henceforth be called that since their bailout with your money and mine, previously known as Bank of My Ass) yesterday to get a bank check to pay the fee for the refi. We're going to pay $3800 in fees, but not have to pay February's mortgage, so it's actually a very good price. Anyway, while in line I was looking at the rates for the day. 5 7/8% with 1 1/8 points! That's high! We're now going to be paying 5% with no points. I wondered to Hubby what would cause the rates to be so different either between the days (ours locked in at the beginning of the month) or between banks (ours is a credit union). He says "our bank isn't going out of business. Ah, good point. I have tried repeatedly to get him to close his account at the Bank of You and Me, but so far no luck. Maybe he'll get tired of not actually being to get anything done through them. Little things like ordering checks and making withdrawals.

Anyway, no point to this. Just wanted to let Daddeo know that rates have not gone down like he said they would, so neener neener.


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I'm a groupie

We just got back from watching our friend's band down in Canton. Their gigs are usually farther south, so it was nice to only drive a half an hour instead of one or more hours. Anyway, they are called Til September (yes, I know an apostrophe is missing) and they cover most modern popular rock songs. So our friend is the singer, third from right, and the guy second from left is the male half of the other couple we did the New Year's cruise with. It was a good time, and the
place got pretty full (I know most of those people were friends/family, it could have even been all). OK time for bed.


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Saturday, January 24, 2009

Discus [Updated]

There are more eggs! I saw them (same pair) acting funny (turning bodies around in weird directions) a few minutes ago, and I thought they might be laying eggs. I didn't see anything, and decided they were just cleaning the future site. Turns out they were laying eggs. I saw them both turning around in odd ways, so hopefully the eggs got fertilized. I'm not taking off for four days this time, so I'll be able to keep a closer eye on the whole process.

In African cichlid news, the momma finally dropped her baby yesterday, so there are now two little guys swimming around. OK, hiding very well is more like it, but I did see the smaller one yesterday. And now that the tank is clean, I was thinking of getting a couple more peacocks. But now I think I'll hold off until these little ones are a little bigger.

[Update] all eggs have been eaten. I saw earlier today that some were gone, and now all of them are gone. It's only been 24 hours, so they didn't even give them a chance to hatch. I've been reading, and it can take many tries until get the hang of it. Of course, this still doesn't rule out a) both are females, or b) the male is not fertile, or c) the eggs were not fertilized properly. So really, no questions answered.


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movies

We just saw Iron Man last night. You know, I actually liked it. I went into the experience ready to not like it, just because I'm getting tired of the movies-from-comic-books thing. But I like Robert Downey Jr enough that I really liked the movie. Before the movie started, a warning came up about "extreme sci fi action" or something. It was the first time I'd seen any warning like that, so we just laughed at how ridiculous it sounded. I'm thinking it was the whole reaching into the hole in the guy's chest where his heart is supposed to be thing that forced that warning to come up. I gotta admit it kinda creeped me out.

Also about movies, I was in a group of four people (two black, two white) in my office yesterday having a frank discussion on the stereotype of black people yelling at the movie screen. Hubby and I have lived on the East Coast for over two years now, and we haven't yet seen a movie in the theater yet. We come from the land of white people, so we don't have experience with big groups of black people in the theater. So it turns out that yes, black people do indeed yell and whoop and holler at the movie, depending on if some one is doing something stupid, something good/bad just happened, etc. I like that to a point, since it just makes the whole thing more fun to get into the movie so much. But I do still want to hear the movie for the $10 I'm paying. I think though, that whatever annoyances people yelling in the theater may cause, we all agreed that the teens holding conversations at full volume during the movie is the most aggravating of all. So for that reason alone, I think Hubby and I have decided to just wait for things to come out on Netflix.

Speaking of Netflix, we have the latest Indiana Jones sitting here waiting to be watched. I know it's going to suck, but I have to watch it simply because I need to do my duty to the series.


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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Back from Knoxville

Knoxville seems like a pretty cool place. We drove trough downtown and old town a bit. But also made it out to the freak show know at Sevierville. Holy cow what a madhouse that place is. It's the Gate Way to the Smokies, but it's also done up for kids and families that don't do the outdoors: Miniputt, go carts, Ripley's, funhouses, etc. It's not a themepark, but just separate businesses as you go down the street.

Smokies was pretty. Stopped the car when we saw a sign for "Quiet Walkway." The short trail split a few times, and following the most trod path we ended up in a damn cemetery!




Someone who has an account with a heritage site (ahem, Ma) can look up the names. Judging from the dates a nontrivial amount of children were lost due to influenza epidemic in the nineteen-teens.

W.H. Bohanan: March 20, 1845 - June 29, 1880


Martha L. Bradley, Wife of W.H. Bohanan and R.R. Reagan: 
November 11 1848 - September 7, 1918


Clifford Bohanan: November 9, 1895 - October 18, 1896


Pearl Stinnett, Daughter of Eli Russell: May 8, 1914 - 
September 17, 1917


Richard Stinnett, Son of Eli Russell: March 14, 1912 - April 14, 1912


Sarah Jane Bohanan: October 29, 1873 - February 6, 1879


Elmina Bohanan: November 22, 1857 - August 15, 1885


Mary Bohanan: August 8(?), 1877 - December ??, 1877


OK, enough of dead people. Here is one of Gatlinburg, which is totally touristified. Not sure there is anything authentic to see.

And one from the same viewpoint, but of a light dusting of snow in the trees.


This day of driving around started with a nice BBQ lunch at a chain called Buddy's. It was goooood!!

And then was driving through the Smokies, and then on the way back we stopped by some outlets. One was supposed to be a power tool outlet, but they didn't seem to have much in the way of tools. Mostly they had odds and ends and ten this stuff that I though was joke stuff:


But they may be real, for people with bad eyesight. I'm going with joke.

Had Japanese that night. Lots of college kids apparently can afford hanging at the Japanese restaurant on a Sunday. Then Monday we met Idiot Friend in town and had lunch at a nice little Hippie Shack (called Tomato Head) on the market square. The more BBQ at a Famous Daves for dinner. Should have taken a picture of that too, because we got the meal for 4 that comes on a garbage can lid.

So anyway, driving was fine, it snowed but didn't stick all day Monday, and leaving Tuesday morning there was snow in the parking lot but the roads and the rest of the way was clear. the car did excellently the whole way, and we convinced Idiot Friend to upgrade his Subaru.

Even though the trip was fun, we don't have any guns to show for our cost and effort. poop.
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Saturday, January 17, 2009

I'll Tennessee you in my dreams

This'll disappoint some Googlers when they get here looking for a Tanya Tucker site. Oh well. We're heading to Knoxville today. Finally going to visit a friend of ours who is moving back West again, and he has too many guns to ship. So we are going to be rolling through DC on Inauguration Day with a trunk loaded with guns. Should be interesting! If you don't hear from me for like six months, it's either me being my normal non-blogging self or I'm in Gitmo, or if Gitmo is closed then another secret CIA camp.

In unrelated news the momma cichlid that was holding has let her baby go, and I got to see it this morning. He's bigger than I thought it would be, so hopefully this guy will make it. He's got a good hiding spot.


[UPDATE] We're in Knoxville, and let me tell you: 35F feels like a tropical paradise compared to the 11F we left in MD. And right now it's 39F! It's positively sweltering!

[UPDATE] Idiot Friend says he's going to pack his guns in the trunk of the car that's getting shipped, instead of letting us take care of them. We'll see how good an idea that is when they get stolen.


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Friday, January 16, 2009

Very exciting fish post!!!! [Update]

Oh my god!! the discus made eggs!!




This is actually something I didn't think I would ever see in my own tank with my own eyes in my life. The filters are filthy, the CO2 tank ran out two days ago. But the one thing I did on purpose was raise the temp by a couple degrees. Guess it worked, huh?

So in those two pictures the dad (I'm pretty sure the male is the blue one) is tending the eggs. Discus are apparently very good parents, as one of them is always tending the eggs while the other is chasing off the bad guys. The one tending will circulate water over them with either their fins or their mouths. Once it is apparent which eggs are viable and which are dead, the dead are picked off and eaten. Then when the magical days comes, the little fry swim up and cling to the body of a parent, feeding off the slime coat of the "host". It is totally cute, and I am just so happy an excited to see this in my own tank!!!

[UPDATE] When we got back from Knoxville Tuesday, the animal situation was a total mess:

1) cats couldn't figure out how to get the food out of the bag (that I left open in the floor) into their bellies, so they were hungry.

2) there were no more discus eggs. There are a few possible reasons: a) eggs were not viable so were eaten; b) the discus are bad parents and left the new hatchlings to starve; c) the discus are bad parents and left the new hatchlings to be eaten. Doing some reading, it seems that a batch of eggs not working out is not unusual at all. But the two parents are still in the same corner hopefully prepping it for another try.

3) the CO2 tank that I had replaced Saturday morning was empty! But I was wondering why the fish weren't dead after an entire bottle emptied into the tank over the course of a couple days. I just hooked up the new tank, and discovered a loose fitting*! So the tank just emptied into the air, thank god. I was trying to figure out why I couldn't get a consistent flow, and that explains it. So, problem fixed, and I don't need the new solenoid I thought I needed.

*I should remind myself to check this regularly, because the solenoid gets pretty hot, the fittings probably loosen over the heating/cooling cycle of the block.
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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Boring fish post

I'll put the nice pictures above the fold, and boring words below.



Those two pictures are two of the discus in the planted tank. I bought 8 discus last summer to go with the 2 Bolivian Rams and bunch of algae eaters. Out of those 8 discus, 4 made it. Mostly because I think some didn't get over their shyness enough to get food to stay alive. So they're gone. but you know who else is gone? The two cute little rams. I really liked those guys because they made a batch of babies (who all eventually got eaten by Placo I think). So i have 4 good looking discus in that tank, a couple shrimp and some algae eaters. i had moved Placo over to the cichlid tank a long time ago so he could stop harassing the discus. I am really pleased with this tank. It seems to stay pretty healthy, aside from the worms the fish got (what killed the rams). I thought the blue discus had worms, which I'm pretty sure he did, and after I added the medication he was still not eating and was hiding for a long time. Finally just a couple weeks ago he just snapped out of it. Everyone seems happy and growing. I just noticed how big one of the pigeons seems. Now I've jinxed it, and they'll all die tomorrow.

Anyway, CO2 cylinder seems to be doing the trick. the reactor was clogged for who knows how long, so the pH got off a little. I also moved the probe further away from the reactor, so it takes longer for changes in pH to register and turn things off or on. The major thing I did was turn up the temp from around 82ish to 86ish. I hope to induce spawning, because I think the blue and one of the pigeons are taking a liking to each other. The temp probably needs to go higher, but I don't want to kill the plants and algae eaters (breeders usually have spawning happen in bare tanks so the water is always clean and you don't have to worry about collateral damage with chemical/temperature shifts. Th last thing I did with this tank is cleaned out about half of the plant growth, as the tank was pretty much getting overrun. I have ordered a couple new plants to add some variety and color. Hopefully they'll take.

OK. Now the cichlid tank. This one has been causing me some serious problems. I just got over a green water breakout after cleaning the tank. There are no plants in this one, so where did the green water come from (it was so thick i couldn't even see when Placo died and the algae eaters picked him to the bone)? I wonder if there was something in the water (tap water) but I also wonder if the lamp for the gecko cage shines too much on this tank. It's not a very powerful bulb, and it's shining only indirectly on the tank. Anyway. Filtration on this tank was a hang-on-back Wisper, which did a fine job but didn't get the fine particles (sand substrate = dirty). So I had put a Magnum micron filter on. This seemed to help the green water a little, but only after adding multiple doses of flocculant. The green disappeared, but there was still cloudiness. Maybe that as bacterial, but it seemed to hang around too long.

So with this latest incident I decided it was time to finally upgrade to a canister filter. I had also been thinking about a UV sterilizer to prevent the next inevitable green water episode. Guess what I found. A canister filter with built in UV!! For not really any more than the canister itself. Now the first brand I found was a no name, and I of course didn't do the proper research by looking it up on the fish forums. But it didn't matter because I never got it hooked up. It came (internet order) with a shattered quartz sleeve. the sleeve is water tight and protects the bulb from the water. So it that thing is cracked, and you can't remove it to replace it, then the whole unit is just collecting dust. Which reminds me I still have to call for a return sticker.

So last weekend while I drove up to PA to a giant fish store and found another brand of canister/UV. I also bought a bunch of rock to redo this tank. I didn't really explore the store too much because it was starting to snow and we had an hour's drive still. I think they had big lizard and fish rooms, but I didn't see. I dropped Hubby off at the bar to watch football with our friends while I played with the new filter. Now that I have it running, and I hear that it is totally silent, and I see that the tank has never looked better, I know that my 5 freaking hours of rassling with the hoses was worth it. I really think 1" OD tubing with 3/8" wall is a bit excessive. Those tubes are totally non-pliable. Where ever they bend they go, You can't force them anywhere. Oh yeah, I made the mistake of filling the canister (smallest size with UV is 4 gallon capacity) before getting it under the tank, so that was another reason to be screaming at the thing. Anyway, finally got it hooked up, hoses somewhat secure, leaks taken care of. It's all good, because the tank looks awesome. Except for the algae I can't scrape off.

Fishwise, the momma cichlid has at least one baby in her mouth, and I'm hoping she doesn't eat this one like every other one. Also, with Placo gone the baby might stand a chance. The only additions I have planned is more fish, since there's only two real ones in there. I want a peacock tank, with all different colors of males. The rocks I got have big holes in them for hiding, so hopefully everyone will feel at home. I wanted to get enough rock to totally stack up along the back to the top, but the four that are in there are already 62 pounds. It's Tufa, and it must be pretty dense.

That picture shows the new shiny rock in the back, one of the older rocks I kept in the bottom left corner, a real old fake rock that all the fishes love in the bottom right corner, momma in the middle, and the intake of the new filter. Also all the algae I couldn't scrape off.

OK, I think that's all about fishes.
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Monday, January 12, 2009

Refi update update

So about that refi. Apparently we're doing it, because today we can get 5% with no points. So even with getting the mortgage insurance, our payments will be about $100 less a month. Also the fees are less, I think because we're not paying points? I don't know. But the other thing about this thing is that we'll have the fixed rate for however long we're in the house. That reminds me of the note I wanted to add about the last post about this refi: the 30 year mortgage has a cap of 2% over the life of the loan, which I forgot about when I was talking about the future 30% rates I'm expecting. So even if we didn't do this, we wouldn't get too burned with rates getting out of control.


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Sunday, January 11, 2009

Refi update

Short version: we're not going to do it.

Long version: We're not going to do it because the house has lost too much value for us to stay at 20% equity. We are currently at about 22% equity, with a payment of $1800 a month at 5.875%. A good appraisal and the promised rate of 5% would have brought that down to $1600, which I definitely wanted to shoot for. Problem was that the appraisal came back at $38k (!) lower than what we paid. So because of this drop is house value, we would no longer be at 20% equity; it would be somewhere like 14% (!!). So we could have gone this route and then pay for mortgage insurance, but then our total payment would have been like $1750. If we wanted to get back to 20% equity, we would have had to pay like $22k (!!!). Uh, yeah, we don't have that kind of money, so no thanks. So I guess we'll just wait out the last three years of our fixed rate and see what the rates are doing then. Our luck they'll be up to freaking 30% or something. No, I don't have any confidence in the future state of the economy with this clownshoe coming into office. Why do you ask? [heh. the only word spellcheck didn't like was "clownshoe".] Click for full post and comments

Seen at the commissary


I didn't see what the price was, but I'm thinking I could've bought a crapload and sold them on eBay for tidy profit. Oh well. Yet another missed opportunity.


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Saturday, January 10, 2009

Oh holy crap I have to blog this

I love Chinese instructions. I bought a new canister filter for my cichlid tank, and it comes with a built in UV sterilizer. The first one I got came with a busted quartz sleeve, so the unit is completely useless, except for cannibalizing parts or something. So I'm going to return it, but in the mean time I went up to PA to see what the WalMart of pet stores had, and they happened to have a similar unit, likewise by an unknown brand. So I'm washing all the pieces and see a drawing...



The text reads (and this is a direct transcription):
"Honorific user.when you need to use Surface basket.Please keep as follows picture(1)that mark the lowest low water line.When you unable to keep water line.Advise to cancel part of Surface basket.according to the way of picture(2)to connect use.Ensure your filter system can work naturally."

But I have to give whoever credit for spelling all the words that are there correctly. Also, the instructions make perfect sense to me, because I understand the ways of the fish. It's just saying there are two attachments for the canister to draw water from the aquarium. If you can't keep a stable water line (like from evaporation), then to avoid you burning up the motor your should use the submerged version (2), not the overflow version (1). I think. Anyway, back to avoiding football by playing with fish.
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Friday, January 9, 2009

I have worms

I ordered a 1000-ct box of worms for the lizzies. I thought it was supposed to be in the 40s yesterday, so the box of them shouldn't have gotten too cold. Turns out it was below freezing while the box was getting shipped. Fortunately the company thought of this and packed the box inside another box, and also insterted a pocket warmer! Now, I'm not sure the pocket warmer did much, since it needs air to stay warm, but it was a nice touch. So anyway I think the cold was actually a good thing, because it slowed down the worms. They usually are crawling out all over the place and escaping through the cracks. But in addition the fact that there was a second box to get through, they were all sitting very still in their little egg crate. So not expecting much, I got all the worms into their tub with a little bit of meal, along with a bunch of veggies on top. Well today! They're all back to life and wiggling around like normal! So now I wonder if I should always try to ship on a super cold day.


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Thursday, January 8, 2009

My fridge

has a really annoying alarm on it. I found this out when loading both fridge and freezer at the same time, and the thing started screeching at me! I guess it's a good idea, but still. It'll learn me to not linger with the door open during a midnight snack, though.


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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Oh! Two political posts in a row!

I found something totally awesome at Protein Wisdom. It's freaking genius:



I'm gonna get two. One for me, and one for my Dad. I'll totally wear it too, because anyone who has spent any time in the rightosphere will understand the image of Obama riding a unicorn (i.e. I'm making fun of him). But I think the Pinkos will think I'm wearing it in support of him, so I can blend in.
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Sunday, January 4, 2009

Looks like I'll be among the first to be disappeared




I'm an embarrassment to Barack!

I only scored 13 on the Obama Test




I think it was the bitterly clinging to guns that got me.



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Biscuit caught a bird

I immediately ran for the camera, pictures coming after I eat.

Let's just say he's tenacious.


OK, time for pictures:
In the first two pictures the bird is right there in the crook of the tree.




Then it flew up into a higher branch, apparently out of view from the camera, because I can't find it.


After that the bird flew over to the tree right next to it, which happens to be in the neighbors yard. So Biscuit jumped down and followed it. He decided the best way to get to it was to go up on the neighbors deck so he could jump in higher up the tree. That was when I decided it was time to bring him in and lock the door.

I locked the cat door, but he was still trying to push it open, so I moved a box in front of it. Getting back from eating just now, I notice the box is moved a little, but both cats are still inside.

So how did the bird get from inside Biscuit's mouth to flying away into a tree? Well after he was done showing us his catch (he was gripping it in its back, and it's little mouth was still moving, so I knew it was still alive) and after I ran for the camera, he wandered off into the yard to play. I didn't even have enough time to get one shot off by the time the bird flew away. As soon as Biscuit let it go to play, it flew. Heh. Stupid cat. Now he knows for next time.

But just the way Biscuit was able to follow it from tree to tree, and especially when he was still trying to get out when I brought him in, was impressive I thought. I'm not sure I've seen a cat who knew he still had something waiting for him outside after he lost sight of it. I guess it's bloodlust.
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Thursday, January 1, 2009

It's 1pm, I should get up

New Year's was a doozy this year. Even though the only drink I had was the champagne at midnight. Compare that to the Maya all of Baltimore saw on the 11 o'clock news, who was babbling about yay alcohol and hot toddies or something. I was playing a character, OK? Apparently normal people consume alcohol as the fun thing to do, so I wanted to look normal. Came off as crackbaby, but that's nothing new. A lady at work texted me after the news came on (which I didn't see because we were on a boat) to say she saw us. Can't wait for work on Monday.

So anyway. What I did for New Year's: a couple days earlier, a friend of ours was buying tickets for a dinner cruise and wondered if he should be buying four. We said sure. New Year's Eve had freaking 50 mph winds all day long, and it was only when I was leaving work for the grocery store (hair dye) that I thought maybe Dramamine would be a good idea. This set of pre-panic attacks, and made me nervous the rest of the evening. Awesome.

We got to the launch point at the Inner Harbor, and I recognize a reporter from the NBC station. Couldn't remember her name, but she was coming towards us! There was two boats lied up waiting for people, but one had a long line waiting in front of it, and the other was ours with a later boarding time. So we were hanging out in the cold and wind doing the recon before we hid someplace warm to wait for board time. The reporter lady was just wandering around looking for reactions to the news the fireworks were cancelled (they go from a barge, and it was too windy). So we talked about the cold and the cost to get on the boat. I think the only people down there were those of us waiting to get on a boat, not anyone hanging out waiting for fireworks, but still. Even if there had been fireworks, I wouldn't have been down there if I hadn't paid for a dinner cruise.

Anyway, we waited inside the foodcourt building thing (which I don't remember being so big from the last time I was down there) and it seriously was filled with cops. We had an almost 1:1 ratio. I guess it made me feel safer, but I still would have liked Hubby to have broken the law by carrying Mr. KelTec. I later found out he did bring along the bad guy dissuading flashlight I got him for Christmas, so it's all good. We got on the boat, sat down with the third couple we were with, and promptly got to people watching. Oh. My. God. This cruise thingy was the best people watching I have ever done. There was a pretty good mix of people, for one thing: white G's with their pants low and doorags, good ol' boys with their Budweiser jackets and hats, couples in their 20's dressed to the nines, older folks dressed respectfully, and of course a wide-ranging assortment of awesome tackiness.

The food was good, normal. Nothing exotic. The ride was actually pretty smooth. Go to a map of the Bay: the boat left the Inner Harbor and made it way slowly to just past the Key Bridge, which is 695. We sat and circled there for the whole time, and probably would have seen the fireworks from there. So, it looks like the boat never gets out into the open water, or else it would have been very rough. And I noticed that the boat travelled by making turns, instead of just going straight at full speed (as it did on the way back in). So I wonder if that is a tactic to keep the ride smoother than by going straight slowly.

Yeah, there was dancin' and singin' and movin' to the groovin' and I just have to describe the two worst offenders of the tacky rule. Keep in mind it was roughly 35F outside. There was a young woman wearing a romper. It was light colored. She was wearing black tights and tall black boots. The tights were no good, I don't know why she was wearing them, the outfit would have looked OK, I guess, with just the boots. But anyway. I didn't actually know anyone wore this outfit. Out in public even! But the best part of this look? She's a white girl with absolutely no ass to speak of. I mean it was totally flat. I didn't think it was possible to have that flat of an ass. I wonder if she had surgery? I mean she just looked funny. She could have been wearing this little outfit shaking her round little ass around the dancefloor, but the complete absence of ass made her look silly.

And now for the piece d'resistance. This woman (I think?) must have come from the upper floor because I hadn't seen her(?) until the dancing started. "She" was honestly like a caricature of a character of a hooker on Reno 911. She was a large black woman(?) with big giant boobs leaking over the top of her 3-sizes-too-small boustier thing (red leopard print!) and had a big ol' hat on that really hid a lot of "her" face, and long extensions done in two big braids. The bottom part of the "outfit" was more red leopard print, short shreds of fabric that barely covered "her" cooch. I don't have a picture because it was dark most of the time, and I only brought the iPhone. "She" looked like "she" was having a good time with the other people around "her", don't know if they all came together or what. I'm sure "she" is a perfectly nice person, but lord almighty what an outfit!

So back to dock and everyone started leaving. The company didn't seem to be enforcing any sort of drunk driving prevention, like holding back to the obviously drunk guy that repeatedly almost ripped the speakers off the wall and was trying to hump the post they were attached to. But it's not like they were kicking people off the boat or anything. You probably could stay on board for maybe another half hour, I don't know. But it was a fun evening, the champagne didn't make me gag like it usually does, and I didn't even need the Dramamine! Yay no barfies!
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